In the course of a relationship, some of the things that attracted you about your partner can become irritants. Marriages go through dips and peaks, and without realizing it, we focus on negatives and forget about having a Conscious Relationship. Here are some tips to energize your relationships:
- Use I messages if you are experiencing annoyance. Rather start your sentence with “I would be happy if…….. “Or “I was thinking about bringing this up and do not want to hurt you…….” Ask for what you need, but in a kind way.
- After discussing the relevant issues, take a break from the “hot issues” or visit a counsellor who can facilitate the discussion and stop it turning into the same old argument.
- Have you forgotten about “Date Night” – planning something fun that you would enjoy together – just the two of you? (Your kids would rather have two happy parents who take some time for themselves)Don’t use this time to argue about old issues – they belong somewhere else.
- Perhaps listen to your partner’s views on topics that interest both of you – you probably have forgotten how to listen – with your ears, eyes and heart. Remember what you found interesting about them in the first place.
- Focus on what attracted you to the person in the beginning. Remember what sparked the romance. You are still married to that person – you have just forgotten to notice.
- Engage in a new activity together – something that you would both enjoy. Start aerobic walking, purchase some cycles; hire some old movies that you used to enjoy. Keep it up and you will re-find your best friend.
- Concentrate on making your partner happy. Do something that will make him/her happy. Cook a favourite meal, surprise him by watching the rugby with him even though it bores you. Watch those old episodes of Downton Abby with her.
- Everybody has some baggage. As my mom used to say “Rather stick to the devil you know than the devil you don’t”. Work out what are serious issues for you, address them – and let go of the issues that are not.
- Why do you always have to be right? Does it matter? – You can decide to be happy to this time.
- Consult with a professional relationship counsellor. They are able to be objective – see both sides of the question, and can mediate on most issues.
Sourced from http:goodmenproject.com